Danni Wakes the Monster
2 a.m. : The darling sausage insists…
‘Need to pee… Need to pee… Still need to pee…’ says Danni, talking to Mum in her grumbling cat voice.
‘Dad is playing, ‘dead to the world’ like he’s after a BAFTA!’ thinks Mum, ‘does he think his loud snuffling is fooling me? I know he’s heard me telling the floofing furbaby to shoosh!’
2.02 a.m. : Mum throws off her warm, hugging duvet. Dresses in joggers off the floor. The crate door squeaks open…
‘Oh, Oh!’ gulps Danni.
Mum’s turned into, DUN DUN DUN – a monster!
Monster makes no eye contact. Monster doesn’t smile. Monster mumbles, grumbles and huffs.
Monster marches downstairs – and waits in the cold, dark, silence of night while Danni pretends to wee, ‘Look Mum, I really needed.’
2.07 a.m. : Back indoors…
Monster dries the floofy sausage belly and toe beans. Then, it makes eye contact and speaks – like Mum, ‘Danni!’
‘Mum’s back – playtime!’ WOOF!
Danni squeezes her slinky bum through the gap in the door and zooms off to the kitchen.
Mum’s attempts to pick up the sassy sausage are unsuccessful. It’s a favourite game of Danni’s, in which she is Jerry mouse and Mum is Tom cat.
Mum knows heading upstairs without the furbaby is futile. Danni sausage will only cry (loudly) at the bottom of the stairs, until someone returns her to her bed next to Mum and Dad. (Have you seen, Lady and the Tramp?)
2.11 a.m. : Mum sulks on the sofa…
‘If I pretend I’m not bothered, pick up my phone and start scrolling,’ thinks Mum.
Danni appears. She throws the side-eye. Then daintily climbs her little ramp and snuggles up at Mum’s side.
2.15 a.m. : Gotcha!…
Danni is quickly bundled upstairs and unceremoniously put to bed in her crate. Door closed!
Some time (much later) a.m. : Dad and Danni are snoring…
While Mum is stifling her inner monster.
All content copyright of Karen McDonald unless otherwise stated.
Karen McDonald 